PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
