69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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