after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
