Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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