I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize