WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
