I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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