i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
