Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
