My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I touched a dick in church today
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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