HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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