the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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