she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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