I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
