i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
someone owes me an orgasm
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
