Need sex. Gaining weight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
