your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
