I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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