super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
