Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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