Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
