Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
