Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize