so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
