So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
