I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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