In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize