im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My ass is underappreciated
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
