Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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