I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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