white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize