I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish i was in the wii world.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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