I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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