Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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