The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
