i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
