Sorry, I don't speak sober.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
