I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
