im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize