wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
