HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
