i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I showed him my bush... on skype.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
