im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
