Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't notice because vodka
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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