is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
