I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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