im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
