Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
