We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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