Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So much Jack, so little girl.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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