so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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