I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
