What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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