I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
