How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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