I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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