I want to stick my p in your. b.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
