me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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